Good morning, afternoon, evening, late evening, to trolls, furniture hunters, couch enthusiasts, and anything of the sort, all around the world.
We are (once again) declaring that we are “BACK” on this site.
Yes. We know that this has been said numerous times by us. But we REALLY mean it this time. We even updated the site layout as proof!!
Point being, this will be the location where we direct a lot of our attention to, along with our Facebook Page, YouTube Channel, and Bully List For Democrat, Hollywood Celebrities, Blue Checkmarks, and Elites Alike.
You should see a ‘Disqus’ Comment Section below this post, which is a great place to communicate in real-time, quickly, and, of course, keep track of internet fights. Beyond that, we encourage everyone to Sign Up for Our MESSAGE BOARDS, which also work for the Bully List and will provide us with a Zuck-Free spot to talk Couch Auctions, Trolling, and share memes.
Update to “Unwritten Rules”:
If you recall a while back, we wrote an article where we share the ‘Unwritten Rules’ of Couch Auctions; a primer for those who are new to ‘couching’, veterans looking for entertainment, members who retired and are making a ‘come-back’, and anyone alike.
Some of those were more obvious and basic, as we needed somewhere to start to get everyone on the ‘same page’.
Right now, however, we are going to add a few more ‘Unwritten Rules’ (that will now be written), as a continuation of our guide. This will be geared towards the ‘Intermediate’ furniture hunter.
1. PLEASE, for the Love of God, Stop Calling-Out ‘Snitches’
Holy Lord is this one annoying. Across many of the Couch Auction groups we populate, almost all of them have popular, high-commented posts that include evidence of “snitching”. Not only is this annoying in that it takes up the group’s algorithms, I’d estimate ~90% of these cases are either a misunderstanding, troll themselves, or someone actually did “snitch” and tell the host.
Let’s break down a few examples, because this problem comes in all shapes-and-sizes:
Example #1: A Real “Snitch”
Ok, sure. By definition, this person was “Snitching”. This is where you as a troll need to do some self-reflecting.
1. “What could ‘Whittni Nicholss’ possibly do to deter the mass-sharing of the post, especially with a comment that probably vanished upon troll arrival?
2. “The Couch Auction Movement has been going on for a few years now. Many people know we are trolls.”
Hell, we advertise that we are trolls. This really shouldn’t matter, as they will still entertain our couch requests and read our comments. If the host decides to NOT deal with trolls, they will either
A. Block them
B. Not read them and Ignore
Tragic. It’s not like we have the ability to share another live stream within a split second of getting blocked from another.
Example #2: A Troll Gets Trolled
This is a fascinating example, as the person-in-question was the top comment. Sure, said person traditionally “snitched”, without context.
But what if I told you that ‘Ashley’ was the comment right-above and was actually a FRIEND of the host’s in real life?
Instant friendship drama.
Oh yeah. Read the name “Gabe Athouse” slowly to yourself.
Someone learned from Howard Stern Show’s Richard and Sal…
Example #3: Empathetic-But-Not-Really
So as you see here, said Troll is informing a host in a “similar line of work” that the live was “shared to a troll group”. With the aforementioned traditional “snitching” example, we know this is not a big deal in a vacuum.
But remember, Couch Trolls are empathetic and understanding, as we usually put our real identities out there on Facebook. We can sometimes get not-wanting-to-raid someone.
Especially at the personal level, like this troll revealed, because of similar life experiences. Not only is nothing wrong with that, but said “snitch” did not even actively deter others. Just made a declarative statement.
Not snitching. C’mon.
Of course, these are only three of the many examples. But what if I told you that this was emblematic of 90% of posts?? You’d be pretty annoyed, too.
And finally, for our last “Unwritten Rule”, for today’s installment:
2. “If you aren’t funny, don’t try to be…….or join live videos”
Often times and especially in the past, Couch Hunters would take to the live stream “video guest” option as a way to pursue the sale of the couch.
Some of our finest moments have been captured with live appearances, Like This One, live phone calls Like This One, highlight tapes #1, #2, and others, and many others that have been deleted due to host embarrassment.
Along with wild moments, we have also seen some cringey, awkward, lengthy, borderline-illegal, and gross, live appearances and phone-calls. This next statement will be a judgment call on YOU, but I’ll refer everyone to a quote from an unknown speaker that states:
“…if you aren’t funny, don’t try to be.”
Quickly adding to this point: people who join lives excessively slow down the streams, especially considering many of our hosts share a WiFi Network with a nearby apartment complex or restaurant.
Not to mention, nobody wants to see a 25-45-year-old dude (who is probably WAY YOUNGER than he looks) expose chest hair/other body parts while screaming-out expletives.
That’s what Chris B. Hann is for.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend trolls:
Stay tuned for our next update + addition of our “unwritten rules. Also keep-an-eye out for our OTHER CONTRIBUTORS who will be signed-up and posting hopefully within the next few days.