Couch Pimps History: A Timeline of Trolling
Good morning, afternoon, evening, or whatever greeting suits you at this moment! It’s been a WHILE since we’ve last written a post over here, so hopefully you’ve been able to follow us across one of our other sites/platforms. You may have noticed some *slight* differences to the site, as well as other changes across our network. Truth be told, there have been some HUGE changes that we have worked on for a while now. With so many moving parts in a relatively short amount of time, we figured it was best to not only share the latest updates, but also provide a “history” of sorts. Many of our initial followers came over during the onset of the “Couch Auction” era on Facebook, while others may have discovered us via YouTube or other Facebook pages. Our Twitter adventures also probably led a good portion of you over to this site, as “Commish” and his various alts/respawns surely caused a stir over there. Some may have even learned about us through our old “Social Justice Football League” project, which had a decent following over on Facebook as well.
With so many sites, pages, links, channels, accounts, groups, etc., it’s hard enough for us to keep track. We can only imagine how confused our earliest followers could be with everything that has changed! So with all of this being said, this post will serve as a brief “timeline” to get ALL of our followers on the same page (pun intended), as well as share the recent changes and future direction we intend to take. It’s time to take a trip down memory lane that goes back to 2017, which seems like forever much less 4 short years ago.
November of 2017. The month and year that this whole thing started. After a large meme group on Facebook decided to ban anyone sharing live streams, the outcasts came together and created “Couch Pimps” as a place exclusively for “couch auctions”. For those unaware, this link should explain what “couch auctions” actually are. Simply put, this was Facebook Live trolling that was under the guise of a “couch auction”, where trolls would ask the unsuspecting host about the details and prices of said “auction”. Now mind you, these live streams were not just randomly selected at the onset of this era. The primary purpose of a “couch auction” was to mess with scammers who hosted “Pearl Parties”.
If you’ve never seen a “Pearl Party” before, then you aren’t really missing much. They are simply live streams where grotesque women would sell pearl jewelry and other cheap trinkets for ridiculously marked up prices. Often times, they would “shuck oysters” live on the stream, with viewers paying for a chance to hopefully find one with a pearl inside. The main problem with this entire setup was the fact that their clientele primarily consisted of elderly people who were unaware of the exuberant prices. Along with the predatory nature of the business, these “Pearl Parties” were quintessential pyramid schemes themselves. Those who hosted the “parties” would have to pay a larger company for all of the materials associated with the business, without a care in the world as to how the individual sellers fared. The entire system was rotten to the core, prompting trolls to get together and do something about it.
Couch Pimps members would share these “Pearl Party” links in a group consisting of thousands, bombarding the hosts with comments about a “couch auction”. At first, the reactions by the hosts were that of complete shock. They would often reply to the trolls by stating “there must have been a mistake” or “I don’t sell couches” and others along those lines. Not only was the host completely distracted by the trolls, but the customers’ legitimate inquiries to purchase the jewelry were being overshadowed by hundreds of couch-related comments. In a matter of a few minutes, the entire “party” was derailed and the host had a decision to make. Many instances of a surprise “couch auction” resulted in the host simply ending their livestream, but others felt that the show must go on. To that effect, the trolls would offer a “truce” to the host: either sell the couch (which they didn’t have) or place a shoe atop your head. If the host did indeed place a shoe atop their head, this signaled the “end” of the auction. Trolls would agree to leave shortly after grabbing a screenshot of the moment. These screenshots of shoes on heads would be added to our collection and we would move on to the next livestream. A fair compromise for sure and a sign that we weren’t “heartless” trolls that many believed.
In a matter of days, we expanded our reach from Pearl Parties to other types of livestreams. The discovery of the hashtag “#TTM” was a game-changer for us, as it opened the door to thousands of streams that we had no idea existed. An acronym that stood for “Talk To Me”, these videos consisted of random individuals who were usually bored and were looking for engagement of some type. Unlike the Pearl parties, “#TTM’s” varied greatly from stream-to-stream, with hosts who enjoyed the company of the trolls and allowed them to appear as a “guest”, to those who genuinely got outraged or confused. In many instances, hosts would accuse the furniture-hunting trolls of being “feds” and would quickly end their live video. “TTM’s” gave us a breath of fresh air and a nice change-up to what we were first accustomed to, while also opening the door to essentially ANY live stream.
One of our favorite “hosts” of a Couch Auction was a political talk show host who went by “Joe Pags”. A staunch MAGA Boomer and “Plan Trusting” Trump supporter, Joe Pags often accused us of being “left wing trolls” among other politically charged labels. It took a few shows, but eventually Joe figured out how to use the “block” button. While the fun with Joe ended there, this was even more evidence that we can run “Couch Auctions” in literally any context imaginable. By the turn of the year, we were only just realizing our potential.
Couch Auctions were still going strong by the time the new year came and went. Because of time zone differences of our members and the sheer amount we had, live streams were being shared 24/7 on the page, meaning there was ALWAYS a couch to be sold! As members began to carry the load of sharing these links, the admins of the group were testing the waters elsewhere on Facebook. In particular, they were involving themselves in various Facebook groups and pages that were about literally any topic you could think of. Eventually dubbed a “Facebook Group Raid”, admins would share a group of interest that our members would join and troll. Some asked about the couch for sale, but we began to ween off of this topic exclusively and tailor our trolling to the particular group we were dealing with. Our horizons were expanding each and every day, and this was just another step on the journey.
2018 also saw the creation of our YouTube Channel, which at first consisted of Couch Auction highlights exclusively. Over time, this would expand to more-and-more content that we will talk about a bit later. While video editing and creation isn’t exactly our specialty, we still continue to update the channel and try to share our shenanigans in the best way that we can. Most importantly, it showed the importance of expanding the number of “platforms” we had, especially considering the Facebook “crackdown” on Couch Auctions that occurred throughout the year. This very site was also created in 2018, albeit NOWHERE close to being useable or functional. The expansion of “Couch Pimps” was beginning to happen.
The end of 2018 into the beginning of 2019 was curious time for us. While couch auctions and Facebook group trolling were continuously ongoing throughout the year, some admins wanted to try something new. Given the nature of the political climate at the time, many of the best trolls in the world found themselves trolling those with any and all types of views and affiliations. One example, of course, being those who posted on /pol/ on 4chan. While none of us actually belonged to or posted over there, we of course admired their trolling over the years. Trolling the Facebook groups and livestreams was definitely fun, but paled in comparison to /pol/’s antics and stunts. This was essentially the “Major League” of trolling, with some admins wanting to test their ability alongside some of the best. The best place to do this? Where else but Twitter dot com.
In January of 2019, the perfect opportunity was presented to a few of us. The “NPC Meme” had just begun, as thousands of trolls were making Twitter accounts with NPC “Wojaks” as their profile pictures. While we stay away from both major political parties in the US, this meme was started in response to the large amounts of “NPC’s” who shared mainstream media-approved talking points all day. Many of these NPC’s spent their days complaining about the “Orange Man”, aka Donald Trump. We didn’t personally have a strong opinion either way with regards to him or his presidency, but the constant negativity posted by Blue Checkmarks and other SJW’s alike was very prevalent. Thus, a few of us decided to join-in and create NPC Twitter accounts with grey Wojaks as profile pictures.
Twitter moderators and administrators were entirely unprepared for the NPC accounts, as literally thousands of “greys” were tweeting absurd things that mimicked a typical “SJW’s” talking points. Because the tweets were so identical to what was actually posted on Twitter, the blue checks began to notice that their “reporting” was simply not working. It would take DAYS until Twitter finally had a solution and began banning anyone with a grey “NPC Wojak” profile picture. By that point, however, the floodgates had opened and we began meeting trolls who frequented Twitter dot com.
The direct outcome of the “NPC Meme”, as it pertained to us, was the creation of something new: the Social Justice Football League. Partnering with various trolls, large Twitter accounts, and other sites, the “SJFL” was an ambitious idea that sought to combine satire and fantasy sports into one. With 40 teams and managers who were in charge of drafting “players” that included prominent Twitter users, the goal was to eventually provide live “scoring” that was based entirely upon someone’s Twitter activity. Coinciding with this creation was the birth of one of our admin’s aliases, commonly known as “Commissioner” or “Commish”. The origins of the name of course coming from the fact that he was going to be the commissioner of the SJFL.
Along with the site and accounts being created, a Facebook page for the SJFL and Couch Pimps was also made in this time period. Both pages successfully accrued over 5,000 “likes” in under a year, before eventually being unpublished by Facebook due to community standards violations. Both pages would share content that ranged from simple trolling to mocking political takes, and everything in between. The SJFL page in particular was also responsible for building the “hype” for the league when the regular season began, which it successfully did before the unpublishing. It would take time, but eventually “Commish” and the many managers were ready to begin the season in mid 2019. At roughly the same time period as the SJFL kickoff, a few of our admins had another idea for a Facebook page. Seeking to document the absurdity of Twitter users who possess a “blue checkmark” that indicates “Verified” status, a “Blue Check University” Facebook Page was created. This would be our 3rd public Facebook Page, along with Couch Pimps and the SJFL. The rest of 2019 consisted of admins keeping up with each of these pages and/or sites, along with ongoing Twitter trolling that used many different parody themes besides “Commish”. It was a lot of work, but we were hopeful with the direction it all was going.
And so began one of the wildest years in recent memory, which was kickstarted by an admin’s parody account that got some unexpected attention. Named “Elaine Goldschmidt”, the account served as a parody of a woman who used insanely vulgar language. Posting tweets that were expected to be taken down almost immediately, “Elaine” instead found her tweets being spread across the Twitter-sphere. After a few prominent blue checkmark accounts stumbled upon the tweets and “quote tweeted” their disgust with Twitter, Elaine became popular across the site within a matter of a day. To our surprise and laughter, the account STILL wasn’t removed until roughly one day later. The cherry on top of the whole situation came shortly after, when we noticed THIS link that was shared in a tweet by CNN. Literally an entire article about a parody account that made no effort to hide blatant vulgarity. Even better, the article gives theories and reasons for why the account existed, when it was literally a thoughtless parody that grew beyond imagination. The entire premise was comically wrong and/or made up, making it even funnier. Mind you, this entire debacle occurred on the FIRST DAY of 2020. Perhaps this was meant to serve as some foreshadowing of the year ahead.
There were a bunch of other parody accounts our admins ran that weren’t quite as popular, but still caused some aggravation on Twitter dot com. “Commish” was causing a fair share of anger as well as he would “respawn” immediately after a suspension, often re-gaining thousands of lost followers in a matter of hours. Many of these reactions and moments from our accounts were being shared on our YouTube Channel, which slowly-but-surely was growing its subscriber count. “Blue Check University” also began sharing content on its website launched at the end of December 2019, along with posts on Couch Pimps main site. This meant less time could be devoted to SJFL, which required a huge time commitment to begin with. Eventually, a decision was made to end the SJFL Project entirely, focusing our attention on BlueCheckU and Couch Pimps instead. From this moment until today (or at least the day this was published), we continue to operate with a focus on these two sites.
As 2020 began to wind down, several other parody accounts of ours and “Commish” himself continued to infuriate Twitter dot com users. Content with the anger he caused for literally thousands of users, he took a hiatus starting in November and lasting until February of 2021. “Blue Check U” and Couch Pimps continued to post content in his absence, with an announcement given that “Couch Pimps” will no longer post anything related to politics. That would be Blue Check University’s job from now on, which has continued to be the rule up until this very day.
2021 and Beyond:
Perhaps the least “eventful” of the past couple years is the one we currently find ourselves in as we write this post. Twitter dot com trolling had about run its course and began to bore a few of us and we began to miss the old Facebook days, which were a much simpler time. Because of this, admins have been reaching out to others in hopes of returning to our roots over on Facebook. We will still have people occasionally posting on Twitter and elsewhere, but the goal moving forward is to get the band back together. It’s currently a work in progress, but we hope to contact everyone who helped build up Couch Pimps in the earliest days.
Who knows what the future has in store for us. That’s the fun part about internet trolling: you never know what you’ll get yourself into on any given day. With two sites well-established, our other channels and platforms, and our experiences over these past couple years, it’s bound to be a wild ride to say the very least. To those who have followed any of our accounts, channels, etc., we sincerely thank you for the support and memories. We will continue to post and update everyone as best as we can as we maneuver through the end of 2021.