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American Auctioneering Association of America (AAAA) Certification Test

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About to enter your first couch auction? What about returning to the couch auction scene? No matter your situation, it’s best to ensure that you are following guidelines established long ago by the American Auctioneering Association of America (AAAA for short). Take the 10 question ‘Certification Test’ below to see if you follow AAAA Guidelines while hunting for affordable furniture!

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Of the given choices of footwear, which is MOST PREFERABLE for placement atop an auctioneer's head to begin an auction?

Correct! Wrong!

Who is the symbolic leader of the American Auctioneering Association of America?

Correct! Wrong!

Women selling THIS on Live Videos were the initial cause of the Facebook Couch Auction rise.

Correct! Wrong!

What does the AAAA strive to achieve when overseeing a couch auction?

Correct! Wrong!

Which of the following is the name of another high ranking member of the AAAA?

Correct! Wrong!

Which of the following actions are necessary in order to carry out a successful auction? Choose all that apply:

Please select 3 correct answers

Correct! Wrong!

True/False: The AAAA requires ALL auctioneers to denote any stains, scuffs, marks, etc., on the piece of furniture they are selling.

Correct! Wrong!

Which country has the largest population of "Dears", according to AAAA estimates?

Correct! Wrong!

Which of the following items have been used in lieu of cash during a couch auction? Choose all that apply.

Please select 3 correct answers

Correct! Wrong!

True/False: The AAAA requires that ALL auctioneers display the piece of furniture they are selling BEFORE beginning the bidding.

Correct! Wrong!

American Auctioneering Assn. of America Certification Quiz
APPROVED

CONGRATULATIONS! You are ready to take part in an AAAA Approved Couch Auction! Best of luck out there in your hunt for furniture at affordable prices!
NOT APPROVED

Sorry, but you appear to be a bit unfamiliar with AAAA Rules. Have no fear, as the AAAA Handbook will be introduced at some point! Watch out for scammers and other furniture schemes.

“The Road Ahead” (2021 + Beyond)

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GOOD EVENING (or whatever time you find yourself reading this) to our troll friends from across the world! It’s been a WHILE since we last posted, but we assure you that there has been a lot going on “behind the scenes”. This won’t be that long, but we would like to ‘officially’ unveil our future ‘plans’ with regards to how this (and other) sites will be organized. Let’s get right into it:

1. ‘Separation’ of Content Between Blue Check University and Couch Pimps

This is easily the biggest announcement we have, as a decision has been made to create a clear separation between what the two sites cover. Due to Facebook Page bans, popularity of said pages, and the many we have created over the past three+ years, we often found it easier to just post ALL types of ‘content’ without any clear distinction. This was also during the time period where the ‘SJFL’ was active, forcing us to split page content among quite a few choices. Point being, it was a bit of a shit show, to say the very least. While all of this was going on, communication between admins and some of our earliest fans was not clear in any capacity. That’s perhaps the biggest regret of the past year that we have: the lack of communication between the ‘earliest members’.



The goal was never to make “Couch Pimps” a political entity. While we never once endorsed a candidate and made content on YouTube that endlessly bashed both political parties, the large amount of political postings/shares perhaps blurred these lines greatly. In reality, the goal was to use our ‘name’ to participate in “Meme War II” as opposed to starting anew and splitting time between accounts. The success of this idea became apparent on the VERY FIRST DAY of 2020, as our ‘Elaine Goldschmidt’ character shocked the Twitter world and forever changed the platform.

After this fiasco settled and all accounts associated were suspended, we made several other parody accounts that were varied by the attention they received. Between the accounts created at the end of January that included:


– “KobeCopter”
– “Coronavirus69”
– “DemandBlaction”
– “Premier Bloomberg”
– “Tonya Guterman”
– And a few others that may have slipped my mind…….


It became clear at the end of January: “socio-political” parody accounts that go for a sort-of “shock value” in their tweets, was the single most entertaining and effective way to “troll”. That was until “Commish” and his multiple iterations discovered what a Twitter “mudshark patrol” was (no, it is not violent in any way, shape, or form. These “patrols” were simply a bunch of people rolling-into Tweet Replies with repetitive memes/one-liners by design). Ok, back to the topic at hand.



Since 2020 was an INSANE year for us on social media, sometimes it was hard to sit and think clearly. The ambiguous content shared across several sites that included political drivel was far removed from what the group began as in the first place. Remember now, Couch Pimps was created to help the world purchase furniture at an affordable price, not help swing an election! That’s where Blue Check University comes into play. Given the convergence of Twitter, Politics, and the rising influence + awareness of the ‘Verified’ account, Blue Check U was simply the perfect choice to take on all POLITICAL Posts, Topics, etc.



Couch Pimps will see a return to its “roots” on Facebook, as we are hopeful to kickstart the live ‘couch auctions’ as soon as we can. Anything deemed ‘too political’ will instead be shared with Blue Check U’s page. Couch Pimps will also handle the ‘meme templates’ and ‘transparent characters’ that many have used to speed up their meme efficiency.


One last time before we move on, but we would like to apologize again to those following us from the beginning who were maybe a bit “confused” or “unsure” of the direction we were heading. The circumstances of 2020 lent themselves to social media shenanigans that we could hardly keep up with, making the ‘Couch Pimps’ Platform helpful for combining all content we accrued.

2. “Commish” Will Be “Retiring” From Twitter Dot Com…..

……in order to make room for the debut of his GOOD FRIEND “BCU President”! Everyone say hello to “Prez” who will be 100% BRAND NEW TO THIS WONDERFUL SITE!

“Prez” has been observing the wild world of Twitter Dot Com without having actually created an account yet, so he will be READY to go and will be EAGER to meet BRAND NEW friends of which he has NEVER met before. Beginning-Mid January is the goal, but as 2020 taught us, this can change in literally minutes. Regardless, Prez has been doing some research with his staff at Blue Check University.

We will update everyone on YouTube (quickest way at this point) when “Prez” will be debuting on Twitter dot com!

3. The Couch Pimps “Site Community” Will Be Open At Some Point in 2021.

Over the past 6 months, we have been experimenting with a site that will help us communicate in both a message board + a members chat format, in lieu of the numerous “Zuckings” and “Suspensions” on Twitter. You will be able to create an ‘anonymous’ account that allows you to post without signing up, but an account will (eventually) allow you to have a mini ‘profile’ that has tons of customizing options. Assuming all continue to goes well on this front, mid-2021 could be a reasonable goal. We have tried this several times in the past, with this attempt being the most deliberate and successful by far and already. Just check back here/on YouTube to see any updates in regards to this. You KNOW we’ll be hyping it up weeks in advance!

4. Check Out Our YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE!

At the risk of sounding like we’re ‘whining’, it appears as though the YouTube “election censors” are easing up their vice grip slowly but surely. Other channels far more successful than ours had complained about “Impressions” and “Engagement” plummeting, along with the obvious “Watch Time”, “Views”, and random “Subscriber Drops”. Spreading the word of our channel + subscribing will help us tremendously and would be greatly appreciated! Thank you to everyone who has done so and has contributed in our comment sections!

Couch Pimps on YouTube

5. Have a Happy and Safe New Year’s Holiday Celebration, Everyone!

2020 will go down in the history books for sure. Whether your 2020 was good, bad, terrible, or anywhere in between, work your hardest to make 2021 the BEST year you’ve ever had! Stay tuned on YouTube or our sites for up-to-date information about our latest adventures and other tidbits that we occasionally share. Have a good one everyone!

What is a ‘Couch Auction’?

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Unclear-yet-Humble Beginnings

Although ‘Couch Auctions’ have been around for a good bit of time, the idea of having Facebook groups devoted solely to them didn’t really begin until late November/December of 2017.  These groups were filled with fellow furniture hunters who, upon sharing a Facebook Live stream, would begin asking unsuspecting hosts about a fictional couch that they were selling.  The first focus of these Couch Auctions centered on ‘Pearl Party Live’ Hosts, which is a loose term to describe a growing movement on Facebook Live involving the sale of cheap trinkets by elderly women in a quasi-affiliate marketing scheme.  These women would sell pearl jewelry, trinkets, and even ‘shuck’ on the Live video.  Shucking is essentially the live mutilation of an oyster by these salespeople in hopes of gaining a quick sale. 

On the surface, these women seemed nice and sweet.  But this was simply not a reality, as these women engaged in predatory Pearl-selling practices that involved marking the price of Pearls up by over 400%.  They had to be taken care of, and couch auctions were the way to do that. After a Pearl Party/Live Video is shared, the trolls move in; asking for a variety of couch-related furniture and referring to the Craigslist ad posted by Ashanti Johnson.  If the hosts gave us trouble, we would threaten to contact our two agencies, the:

American Auctioneering Association of America (AAAA) and  Couch Protective Services (CPS)

OFFICIAL American Auctioneering Association of America Logo!

In the Heat of the Auction

Most times, the hosts of the Facebook Live become quite flustered upon being inundated with a large volume of frugal furniture hunters.  Couple this with the misgendering of them+their confidants, petty insults, call-outs, and other trolling methodologies, and you have yourself an angry, 50-70-year-old woman who was sure to entertain.  When Pearl Parties began to slowly develop an understanding of the ‘Block’ button, they became harder and harder to hit, prompting us to shift our focus to ALL forms of Facebook Live Videos


Not to mention, the Pearl Community had been pretty battered by Couch Gang, as just about every group of Pearl Sellers would post daily about an infestation of  ‘Couch Trolls’.  Our impact had been felt, and we were only just beginning. Today, Couch Auctions occur in just about every mode of Facebook.  Live Videos, Hood #TTM videos, Political talk shows, family gatherings-turned-public, alien re-enactments, etc. 

Our Goal: Either purchase a couch or get the host to place a shoe on their head.

“Shoe-On-Head”, Please

The Shoe-On-Head is a staple in the Couch Gang movement, as it is an essential “out” for the hosts.  Couch Gang, above all, is a group of relentless, vicious, and most importantly, empathetic, trolls.  Thus, you will not see Couch Gang engaging in ‘bullying’.  Rather, we actually LEAVE a trolling mission if the host PLACES A SHOE ON THEIR HEAD.  


This is where we need to hold up our end of the bargain.  If the host places a shoe on their head, they’ve done what we have asked.  From there, as a unit, we move out to the next job, as there are clearly more pressing videos to hit than a host who is placing a shoe on their head after being told to by strangers. 


If you are new to the Couch Movement, we welcome you to our growing revolution.  Spawning as a result of a growing politically correct, post-modern society, it is important to ensure our counter-movement stays strong. 

WE ARE THE COUNTER CULTURE. 

Couch Auction Highlights

YouTube Playlist

AAAA “Couch Auction Etiquette” Test

The American Auctioneering Association of America (AAAA) strives to ensure that those participating in couch auctions are as informed as possible. Beyond clearly stated rules and bylaws, there exists an “etiquette” to couch auctions that is important to understand. Thus, we have created a “quiz” that will put your knowledge of this to the test with our “AAAA Couch Auction Etiquette Test”. Follow the instructions below to see if your understanding of the “ins and outs” of couch auctions is up to par with what the American Auctioneering Association of America (AAAA) expects!



Any score above an 80% will include a certificate that acknowledges your prowess in the world of furniture hunting. A treasure in the eyes of hiring managers and job recruiters alike, this certificate ensures you are performing up to the high expectations set out by the AAAA. Anything below will be considered a “Failing” grade, with the opportunity to retake as many times as you want.



Best of luck everyone!

Welcome to your AAAA "Couch Auction Etiquette" Test

Sportsball Cringe #1

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Blue Check Summer

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