Couch Pimps Weekly Troll Update: 5/27/2019

A Weekly Update on Our World of Trolling


Happy Memorial Day to our trolls who find themselves situated in the United States of America! Remember that, no matter how many times the SJW’s on Social Media confuse the two, VETERAN’S DAY IS NOT THE SAME AS MEMORIAL DAY!! If you are unaware of the difference, quickly ‘Google’ it and report back.

Anyway, we hope you find yourself enjoying what’s left of your long-weekend. While many were out enjoying the beach, vacationing, doing yard work, working, driving, attending family functions where you hardly know the attendees, or whatever you were doing……..we were doing that as well!! Albeit, we were trolling ‘on-the-go’ while simultaneously avoiding awkward encounters from family members that you SHOULD know, but for whatever reason, forget the name of. We will start delivering weekly ‘Troll Updates’ in a fashion similar to this, using bullet points, links, videos, screenshots, etc., as a way to keep track of our troll-complishments (okay, I’ll stop after that one). Here goes nothing……

Weekly Updates:

1. Brian and Ed Krassenstein Permanently ‘Suspended’ From Twitter

If you follow us on Facebook, you would have heard about this one 15x over. There is a reason for this, however. We here at Couch Pimps focused on the Krassensteins as an optimal ‘troll target’ months ago after……well…….anyone who has seen their interactions on Twitter would want to troll these guys.

We used several hashtags, including #BanTheKrassensteins, #BanTheKrassensteinBrothers, #KrassensteinEXPOSEDParty (Krassenstein Resistance Parody with that one!), among a few others, in this escapade, but above all, we (and many, many, others) felt that the Krassensteins indeed needed to be banned from Twitter. We even wrote a whole post outlining the reasons why we believed they needed to be banned; none, of course, having to do with their opinions or viewpoints.

Not to mention, we were on the frontlines of their Reddit ‘Ask Me Anything’ (AMA) Fail, including questions that I personally snuck-in like the ones below:

Now we know where Edward and Brian shop to look so cute!!

Mind you….these were only questions WE ASKED. That should give you an indication of how well it went.

Back to the actual ‘news’ of this…….Brian and Edward Krassenstein were FINALLY Suspended; months after we first set-out on this journey, and days after noticeable ‘escalation’ in the Twitter world toward their suspensions, the troll-goal is a reality.

This leads us right into number 2…..

2. Brian and Ed Krassenstein Are in Meltdown Mode over Their Twitter Suspension

We’ll use pictures only for this one.

3. The Mysterious Past of ‘EdBri871’…

Now….amidst that meltdown, you may have felt slightly bad for the Krassensteins or fell for their guilt trip. Do not worry. This is what trolls are for.

A quick search of the screen name ‘edbri871’ on Twitter reveals not only a rather shady history for the account user with this alias, but this is indeed Brian and Edward Krassenstein themselves; of course with a joint account.

Not only that, but the posts and ‘tone’ of ‘edbri871’ sounded exactly like that of a modern-day Krassenstein Brother Meltdown. There were even posts devoted solely to the Krassenstein brothers themselves…….

…….except they involved yet another ‘scam’ that the dynamic duo were involved in; this time, the ‘stealing’ of Domains from shady places. Of course when pressed on the matter, the Krassensteins did what they do BEST (and what they are doing with their Twitter fiasco): DENY.

Here’s a nice little collage that tells the story of just SOME of the screenshots we saw on that site….

Weird how they follow the same script as they do with Twitter. Play the Victim. Ask for an unrealistic ‘dialogue’/’discussion’. Clear their name as much as possible. Move on to the next scheme. But hey, at least they pay their plumbing bills:

4. ‘A Day in the Life of the Krassesteins’ Latest Updates

As many pointed-out, this was a heavy-Krassenstein/Politics Focused week, as the combination of the holiday, news, Twitter Suspensions, etc., forced us to have an ‘audible’. This is the last of the ‘Krassensteins’ for the post, but we have not only created 2 new episodes of our ‘mini-series’ ‘A Day in the Life of the Krassensteins’, we have added narration and voice-overs as well!

Check them out below:

Episode 5
Episode 6: Eugene WHO?

5. Several Team Members Mysteriously ‘Zucked’

Several of our Admins have weirdly discovered that, out of nowhere, their accounts on Facebook are ‘disabled’. Not only this, but Facebook seems to be on high alert with ‘Suspensions’, ‘Restrictions’, ‘Share Jail’, ‘Friend Requests’, and other items in a troll tool belt that we have grown accustomed to.

This is why we are trying to push for EVERYONE to create an account on this site AS WELL as Facebook/Twitter/other social media sites. We can not control the randomness of a Zucking nor the tenacity of getting ‘Jacked’ (our newly made-up term for Twitter suspensions). We can only control the reaction.

Our LIVE TROLL CHAT will be a place to chat with ALL TROLLS and ADMINS 24/7, regardless of the topic. We are eventually working to create various chatrooms with different levels of trolling needed to partake, so stay tuned there!

Our MESSAGE BOARDS will be a place to talk to other troll in a less-urgent, more leisurely, setting, without the watchful eye of Jack or Zuck.

6. Some ‘Organized Raid’ Interruptions

Because of the aforementioned Zuckings+Restrictions+Share Jail Placements, our ability to have ‘organized couch auctions’ has been severely hampered. WE WILL STILL POST LIVES (AS ADMINS) RANDOMLY THROUGHOUT THE DAY/WEEK. WE CANNOT GUARANTEE QUALITY TO HAVE AN ‘ORGANIZED RAID’……yet.

Once our group numbers hit a sizable amount, our alts are re-established, Dears are re-connected with, and restrictions are lifted, we will be ready for a ‘throwback’, 2017 Organized Raid Couch Auction.

If you have not joined our group, be sure to MESSAGE our Public Page and ask for an invite! Because of the Indonesian Mass-Report Group Scare, we were hesitant to keep the group ‘Closed’ and due to the change, we must wait a few more weeks to revert to old privacy settings.

Last Words:

Welp….that’s all I’ve got for you this week, fellow trolls. Make sure you LIKE us on Facebook, SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube Channel, FOLLOW our SoundCloud Page, and SHARE the word of our movement!!

Oh yeah. Don’t forget to check-out the MOST TOLERANT Sports League on the Planet: The Social Justice Football League (SJFL) TODAY at thesjfl.com! (Your username on this site will work for the community over there as well!) Enjoy the rest of your Memorial Day, fellow Pimps. Stay Trolling!

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