Ban the Krassensteins

#KrassensteinExposedParty


The time has come, fellow trolls.  A declaration of Meme War has been made on the Krassenstein Brothers.  As you know, we have focused extensively on the Krassenstein Brothers over the past year.  Videos on YouTube, Memes, Stalking (but not really, because they post constantly) their replies to be first; we’ve done it all with the cringeworthy brothers who lead the #Resistance.  We would be the first to admit this. 

The interest (and inevitably problem) with the Krassenstein Brothers doesn’t come from them personally, at all.  If you have seen any of the videos on our Channel, you’ll instantly notice they are socially awkward, disconnected-from-society, and above all, annoying to listen to. 

The intrigue comes from the context in which the Krassensteins are allowed to exist/actually exist in. 

As you can see, President Trump has 60.3 MILLION Twitter Followers.  That’s a lot.  What are his replies like?

Who’s ‘we’, Brian? What about Hillary’s No-Fly Zone over Syria? HONK.
What point is Edward trying to make, exactly?

Now these are just the most recent examples I found of the Krasssensteins being atop the replies, as I could post endless replies of theirs that are instantaneous to a Trump Tweet.  Not even possessing the fabled ‘Blue Checkmark’, it is mysterious that their replies are:

1. Literally on every Trump Tweet.  And not in the 21st Century connotation of the word ‘literally’.

2. Within 1-2 minutes of Trump tweeting.

3. ALWAYS in opposition to Trump policies (Hell, Van Jones even praised Trump several times).

4. Lacking any type of policy proposals, beyond cliché ‘left-wing’ rhetoric. 

5. Constantly praising outright bizarre figures.  James Comey (former FBI Director), Andrew McCabe (former Deputy Director of FBI), Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama (namely his exposed Justice Department), while simultaneously supporting the aforementioned rhetoric from point ‘4’.

On the surface, it seems like ONLY the ‘right’ (left-right politics are gone, but we’ll roll with it) hates them.  But one dark, January evening, on a Reddit AMA, changed the narrative on the Krassensteins.  It was discovered that, even those who are ‘left-wing’ (again, just roll with it) hate the brothers just as much!!

HONK.
HOOOONK.

In one of the most beautiful moments in internet history, both the (media created) ‘left’ and ‘right’ were united in one cause:  Hating the Krassensteins

We have part one and two of the BEST moments of the AMA below, but this represented a turning point to us.

AMA Fail Part One:

Part Two

When our country was unified toward a common goal, the results were something unseen before in Reddit History.  No AMA had ever been THAT BAD and while some from the international community may have helped, this was mostly a unified American Internet, destroying the obviously-paid shills who seek to divide, along with the MSM and elitist politicians (both Democrat and Republican, but unfortunately, leaning heavily Democrat in this current political climate).

Both sides aren’t THAT far apart on issues.  When people like Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, Bill Krystol, Alyssa Milano, Jeff Flake, and others say that this division exists, they are doing so from the comforts of their own mansions, condos, private estates, country clubs, and other places of the sort. 

Division is being manufactured by the elites, and the Krassensteins are their footsoldiers.  If you saw the VICE Documentary featuring the Krassensteins, you’ll know that the two live in Florida in adjacent mansions, with a whole ‘office’ solely devoted to Trump-Stalking. 

https://thinkprogress.org/who-are-the-krassenstein-brothers-251f68acf674/

All of this, of course, AFTER getting raided by the FBI over Ponzi Scheme accusations, losing hundreds of thousands of ‘stolen’ dollars, and NOT facing any charges. 

Image result for ponzi bros
‘Conspiracy to Commit Wire Fraud’ Charges? Sheesh, DOJ. That can happen to ANYONE!!

TLDR: The Krassenstein Brothers are NOT representative of any sect of America whatsoever, yet continue to appear at the top of Trump Tweets in a timely fashion.  Their constant Trump-opposition and lack-of-policy-proposals only serve to divide America, interfering with ‘our’ social media services by preventing productive discourse and serving their own self interests.  The fascinating conditions presented lead most to believe that they are receiving ‘help’, in the form of either funding, algorithm ‘boosts’, Justice Department corrupt dealings, and other things. 

 Thus, we have done several things to aid in the meme war:

This is our petition to ‘de-platform’ the Krassensteins from social media.  This is something we understand is in staunch opposition to our ‘free speech’ views, but we feel as though this case involves so much more than ‘free speech’ and, in a way, one could argue OTHERS’ ‘free speech’ is being taken by the two. 

https://www.change.org/p/twitter-inc-ban-brian-and-ed-krassenstein-from-social-media

Here is our Twitter Thread where the #KrassensteinExposedParty is taking place.  A RT would help the movement greatly!

https://twitter.com/LordResistance/status/1114684896872665088

Here is our ongoing ‘mini-series’: ‘A Day in The Life of the Krassensteins’, depicting the ongoing saga that is the Krassenstein Brothers and their everyday life.  Subscribing to our Channel would be a great boost as well!!

Our ‘Media Gallery’ is currently being updated as we speak, but this will eventually be where we upload our own memes, graphics, screenshots, comment section burns, etc.  Check back frequently for new uploads and feel free to use on other social media sites!

If you are banned on any site or platform for whatever purpose, whether it’s a couch auction, NPC Meme, Krassenstein exposure, epic troll-job, etc., feel free to use our 24 HOUR LIVE TROLL CHAT!! 

This is still in its early stages, so there may be a few glitches.  We want to slowly lose our reliance on social media sites, as they have shown that they are incapable of being consistent in their TOS. 

http://couchpimps.com/live-troll-chat/

Going right along with this, we want to eventually transition to full-time troll plans on our Message Boards, with the particular ‘plan’ message board being locked to unregistered viewers.  Check these out as well!!

http://couchpimps.com/message-boards/

Lastly, stay tuned on couchpimps.com, fellow trolls! The Krassensteins have an immense amount of ‘Progressive Handlers’, so there will be Twitter account casualties, in the name of suspensions, shadow bans, phone number verification, etc. Be safe out there, trolls.

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